when you truly hate yourself, there’s no being talked out of it. no amount of ” no, you’re pretty ” or ” don’t do it, you’re loved” can snap you out of it. because when it comes down to it, they all feel like lies. then you don’t know who to trust or who to turn to. that’s what hate is like.
Some days I wake up and want him back so much it physically hurts and then some days I wake up and realize how much I hurt him and how that would just make things worse. I just need to focus on helping him while moving on and everything will be fine. I just need to focus, that’s what everyone is telling me.
I’m not stringing along anyone! If anyone actually took the time to ask me what my current status is than you would know that we’re exclusively seeing eachother now. Yeah I’m dating him to my own benefit because I fucking like him and I want to. I’m moving on the only way I knew how and the only way that has worked. Does no one realized that I will always have feelings for him because he was my first love ? I will always care about him no matter what.
I am not wheeling other guys, get your facts straight before you accuse people of doing things and I’m trying to move on because we broke up almost two months ago and there is no hope for fixing it. It’s all ruined and gone to shit. Even if I tried to fix it, he would never take me back. He’s too good for me and it would just hurt him beyond belief. It’s all so confusing. I just want us both to be happy and what’s best for us. Yeah I’m screwed in the head. I’ve always known that, I wish I knew what was wrong with me and maybe our relationship wouldn’t of fallen apart.
I’m just another depressed kid trying to talk another kid out of killing himself.
I haven’t been ok for the longest time…
I could picture myself marrying him in the future, going off the school together and having a family. I know I’m way to young to even think about those things but I loved him so much I could picture it all. I never told anyone this, not even him. Now all of that is shattered to pieces and I can’t picture my future with anyone, not even alone. It doesn’t feel right with anyone else but him.
Wait do American people not call their friends mate?? Is this a thing???
Yup. I’m sure some do but mostly people just say friend. Which is boring but whatever.
Wait so you go up to your friends and be like “Hello friend.”
we use names